


Asunder

by Rainbird



Category: Marvel, The Gifted (TV 2017), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Mutants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:56:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbird/pseuds/Rainbird
Summary: When a botched mission forces Clarice to come to terms with everything she is, one thing becomes clear: Proudstar men do not give up.





	1. Lost

"I want to introduce you to someone!"

John's voice rang out over the din of chatter on the first floor, and Clarice paused her assault on a bag of chips, angling her body to the front door to see who he was so excited about. Her lips parted as his searching eyes found hers and he headed her way, the man following behind him so similar in appearance that for a moment, she was unsure which was which.

"Clarice, this is my little brother, James. James...this is _Clarice._ "

Her ears caught the weight he sank in her name, no doubt James already knew who she was. She decided then that she liked that John had been discussing her. And, given James's answering smile, she'd gotten the Proudstar Seal of Approval. Clarice stood up and wiped her palms on her jeans before shaking James's hand.

"Yeah, 'this is Clarice'. You...look very much alike. Damn."

John chuckled and clapped James on the back and the younger Proudstar split into a grin so much like those she'd seen on John.

" _Damn_ , huh? I'll take it."

Clarice knew right then they'd get along fine. John raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in that familiar way that said he was relaxed and attentive.

"He's here to help us with the mission tomorrow in Fredricksburg. Well, him and two others. Where did the, uh, ladies go that quick?" He threw his brother a bemused look; he'd been so excited when he was outside and saw his brother's team approaching. He'd barely glanced at the rest of them before locking James in a bone crushing hug and now that he thought of it, he hadn't even seen them enter the safe house. He gave a cursory glance that was ultimately useless: it was hard to locate someone when you barely knew what they looked like, let alone memorized their energy signature.

"Oh, Alison and Kitty?" James's gaze swept across the first floor and tilted upward. "They've commandeered the upstairs bathroom. You probably won't get it back until we leave."

Clarice's eyes flicked upward at that same patch of ceiling and the corners of her mouth lifted in a subtle smile. She was distantly thankful that all of her toiletries were in a different bathroom.

"Thanks for the heads up."

"C'mon, I'll make tacos." John slipped into Big Brother Mode, which was unsurprisingly not too different from his usual self, and gestured for them to follow as he cut a path toward the kitchen. "Tell me you guys ate something other than gas station hotdogs on the way here."

James shrugged and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear as he claimed a barstool next to the counter. "Ranch Doritos. Slim Jims. I think there might've been a muffin."

John sighed with a hint of laughter behind it and pulled ingredients out of the fridge. Clarice moved around him and set to pouring James a cup of juice from a pitcher.

"Hope you like Kool Aide, it's all we got."

James nodded in thanks as he accepted the drink from her, taking a long gulp while John lit the stove and waited for the pan to heat. Clarice had already taken to slicing the tomatoes and John spared her a glance and a half smile as he turned and started his mixture of flour, salt, baking powder, and water in a bowl. "This reminds me of when I used to make your after school snacks."

"Yeah? Let's hope your frybread has gotten better since then."

"Hey! Don't diss a man's frybread!" John tossed a look over his shoulder. Clarice snickered.

"It had holes!" James shot back.

"Everyone's does!"

"Welcome to The Great Frybread Debate of 2018." Clarice said under her breath, knowing both brothers could hear her.

"There's no debate, John couldn't form a whole piece to save his life."

"You're going to eat those words!"

"I could if everything didn't fall through the bread." The tomatoes and onions were cut, the lettuce was shredded, and the meat was hitting the pan with a sizzle. Clarice claimed the seat to James's left as John worked on.

"So...you do the same things John does? Tracking, bulldozing, human shield stuff?"

"About three times better than him, but yeah."

"Nice. You guys are a two-man army." James winced at the same time Clarice saw John's back tense and she wondered what she'd said wrong. She was putting together a change of conversation in her head when a girl almost ran into her – from out of the wall.

"Jimmy! Here you are. Alison, he's in here!"

Clarice eyed the stranger in surprise, and straightened up once she realized she'd been leaning away.

" _Jimmy?_ " came John's teasing tone, preparing the plates.

James rolled his eyes. "Kitty, this is Clarice and that's my brother John. Guys, this is my teammate, Kitty. Also known as Shadowcat."

"And?" A voice came from around the corner as a statuesque strawberry-blonde emerged. "Am I too late for introductions?"

Clarice caught a twinkle in James's eyes at the sight of her, and she looked over to John to see if he'd caught it too. A wry smile told her he had.

"John, Clarice, this is Alison, also known as Karaoke Girl."

"Dazzler!"

"My name was better."

The blonde turned toward John and wrinkled her nose as she crossed her arms under her bust.

"He doesn't get his sense of humor from you, does he?"

"Definitely not."

They ended up pulling stools all around the counter – Clarice and James on one side, John and Alison on the other, and Kitty on the corner. Clarice was captivated as she listened to the group discuss how things were running at the other Underground safehouse, how Kitty can travel through walls, and caught precious anecdotes from the Proudstar brothers' childhood, which she filed away in her brain for reflection later.

The tacos disappeared and the conversation carried on, even as the house became quiet overall and room by room, lights were turned off. It wasn't until the snoring coming from the couch in the next room was drowning them out that they dispersed to their rooms for the night. When the shower finally stopped running and all of the lights were off, Clarice turned to prop her head on John's shoulder and smirked, the image of him in a speedo front and center of her thoughts.

"So, the swim team, huh?" In the dark she saw his lips curve as he bent an arm around her, pulling her closer, and tucked her under his chin.

John awoke about an hour before the birds began singing in the trees; Clarice relented and rolled out of bed as the scent of coffee wafted into the room. Most of the others were still asleep by the time the two of them padded downstairs, the exceptions clearly being Reed Strucker and Marcos, who were already up and chatting with James in the kitchen. Greetings were traded as John fixed himself a cup and Clarice took the last english muffin Marcos was neglecting. They talked strategy and waypoints and the latest word on Sentinel Services' movements, and when more than half an hour had passed, James went upstairs to retrieve Kitty and Alison.

Ninety minutes later, the group of five loaded into an SUV and were on their way. John drove the whole way to Fredricksburg, artfully staying along the feeder and backroads, only merging with the general traffic when absolutely necessary. He delivered them safely to a run down library, pulling up quietly to the back door. Intel had told them there were four mutants hunkered down inside, awaiting rescue. Intel, it seemed, had been outdated. Either that, or word had gotten around that help was coming because there were fifteen people scattered among the various aisles. All fifteen of them, plus the five man recon team, would not fit into one SUV.

Dazzler and Warpath stood guard outside as Shadowcat loaded the vehicle with as many people she could fit, which turned out to be only nine. Blink looked at Thunderbird, wordlessly conveying her readiness for her part, and he waved for them to go. All eyes watched the van rumble down the road, and Thunderbird looked to his brother.

"Will she really be okay, with just herself to protect them?"

Warpath turned around, his body casual and confident. "A: She's done this type of thing a hundred times, and B: her power is to phase right through things. As long as all of them are together, nobody's getting shot and nobody's getting locked up. Worst case scenario is if Sentinel Services shows up, she might have some trouble shaking them. That's why we'll meet her fifteen miles out from base to make sure."

It was as much reassurance as they could hope for. John had contacted his brother for this mission because this particular stretch of territory was routinely patrolled by Sentinel Services; they'd needed some extra muscle and another escape artist in case things went sideways. So far it seemed that luck was on their side; they'd gotten to the group in time and there hadn't been any sign of SS...yet. They filed into the library to brief the kids – some of them as young as seven, no wonder the mission had been classified as urgent – on what was about to happen.

"It's not going to hurt you and you're not going to feel anything. One of us will go first and the rest of you just follow behind, okay? It'll be just like stepping from one room into another. Just stay close and don't stop moving." Clarice explained as simply as she could, though she saw every eye widen as she began opening the portal. It began the size of a grapefruit, then a basketball, until it was large enough to accommodate even Thunderbird's 6'2 frame. On the other side, the safehouse sat, promising safety and rest. Warpath went through first as a show of trust and stood beckoning. The others filed through, a mix of emotions playing on their faces as they crossed over. One hung back at a table, his uncertainty clear.

Alison went to him, bending down and speaking in soft tones, but he wouldn't budge. Clarice looked into his brown eyes and felt sorry that a child no older than seven already had such little trust. She'd had her own rough childhood, but she had a hunch this kid had seen worse. John went over to him, and Clarice didn't hear what he said to him, but the boy clung to his side within moments. Alison looked at John with respect. John's attention snapped to the far wall; a quick tell that company had arrived.

"Any minute now, John!"

"We're coming!" He picked the boy up and ran for the portal. Alison took a deep breath and produced what looked like a microphone from her jacket. Clarice was momentarily confused, but as the library doors were flung open, the blonde began belting out the first lyrics of Cher's If I Could Turn Back Time. Clarice couldn't believe it -- even though there were no amps or speakers, Alison's voice seemed to be all around them, and there were actual colorful lights flickering everywhere. Alison walked backward as she sang, only turning around once her back foot had entered the portal, and Blink was only a half step behind as she walked through and allowed her portal to collapse on itself. She brushed her hands against each other to dispel the remaining tingle and looked around. James had his back to her, talking to two of the rescued mutants at the door, and John was on one knee talking to the last kid. She didn't see the van yet, and felt soothed by that fact. This was a bigger group than she was used to transporting, and sometimes things got wobbly. Sometimes, though the portal felt instant to her and everyone else who traveled though, hours passed on the other side. Blink hadn't figured it all out yet, but she was scraping together an idea that distance and the strain of holding open the portal had something to do with it. She was thankful this wasn't one of those times. Looking over at the Honda Civic next to the house with it's bullet holes, crunched bumper and broken driver's seat, she flexed her fingers and readied herself to open another portal to meet Shadowcat and the others.

Just then, Warpath came over, lines of worry stretching across his face as he glanced around in near paranoia. "Where's Dazzler?"

Clarice's head snapped left, but found nobody there. John, overhearing, lent his eyes to the search as well, and came up short. Clarice was confused.

"She was just right here! I was behind her!"

James shook his head. "I don't sense her at all, there's no way she came through. _You left her_!" He wasn't glaring at her, not yet, but Blink could see the anger rising up in him, a pot about to boil over.

"I didn't! She was right in front of me, I swear!" She couldn't believe it, she'd never lost somebody before. There'd been a time once, when she was coerced into using her power for a location she didn't know and the person she portalled was never seen again. She'd assumed they'd either got stuck in a solid object or ended up in the middle of traffic, and honestly, she couldn't have cared less which. She'd never outright _lost_ somebody, especially when she saw them go through with her own eyes. It was as if Alison had literally disappeared, between one blink of the eye and the next. John put a steadying hand on James's shoulder, his expression worried but otherwise neutral, and Clarice could tell he was trying to not choose sides.

"We'll go back and look for her, I'll let Marcos and Wes know to meet the second group, give me a minute." He took off back toward the house, and Blink was stuck with an angry Proudstar staring at her. All at once she felt inadequate and freakish.

"We'll find her." she mumbled because she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Apologizing would mean admitting that this was her fault, and she wasn't about to take the blame if it turned out that Dazzler had doubled back without a word, or if she'd wandered off to a corner of the portal instead of going straight ahead or-

"Damn right we will."

She wondered if the only thing keeping him from yelling at her was her status as John's girlfriend. John saved them from further awkward tension by reemerging from the house and trotting up to them.

"Alright, we're set to go. Blink?"

Her heart pounded as she rubbed her hands together, curled her fingers, and began to reopen the portal. Two bullets whizzed out and Blink immediately let it close. One had hit James in the arm and fallen away, uselessly. The other had gone past them and John checked with the few people still in the yard to make sure nobody had been hurt. Everyone was fine, and judging by the lack of screams anywhere, the stray bullet hadn't hit anyone indoors either. James cursed and John ran a hand through his hair.

"We're going to have to think on this a bit more."


	2. Searching

"How is this getting any better by waiting?" James's tone cut across the silence, sharper than any knife.

John let out a breath and waved an arm in Clarice's direction.

"We need Shadowcat. You and I will be fine when the bullets fly, but they aren't going to bounce off of Blink. You said yourself that Dazzler can shoot laser beams. You said she can hear better than both of us. You said she can echolocate. You said she's learning to _fly_. If she's back there, I'm sure she can hold off Sentinel Services until we get there."

James snarled, turned away and turned back again.

"Yeah. All that's great, it'll work just fine against their spiders and their humans but what about _Pulse_? What happens when they bring out their little nullifier, **what then**?!"

John's eyes went wide, a vein starting to swell at his temple. He looked to Clarice, then away at nothing in particular. Clarice knew why. The last time they'd encountered Pulse, they'd been hunted like fish in a barrel and if not for John, likely all of them would have been captured. Pulse had gotten away that day and got caught in an explosion the next time Sentinel Services had caught up. The way Thunderbird told it though, he'd survived a near-lethal attack before. John wasn't about to be caught off guard a second time.

"Look, I'm not saying we wait forever, just until Shadowcat gets here. Then we go in, come hell or high water."

James studied his brother for a long moment before turning away and stalking off. He was stressing out, and channeling his stress into a hyper-focused state in that familiar way that Clarice was starting to think was genetic.

John put a hand over his eyes and grimaced. His brother was right; between the constant packing and moving, rescue missions, chasing down information leads, the skirmishes that were less brawl and more retreat – he'd forgotten, just a tiny bit, how seriously he needed to take Sentinel Services. It was too overwhelming to keep all of it at the forefront of his mind all of the time and he was getting dangerously close to that point he heard other infantrymen talk about in the Marines: that moment when you're too afraid to be afraid. _Irrational calm_ , his squadron had termed it, and it was a crapshoot as to whether that saved the day or damned it.

In the priceless minutes they spent waiting for James's teammate to drive back with the SUV full of mutants, John convinced Clarice to have a seat, drink some water, and sort herself out. Beside her, John took another long sip of iced water and listened intently to a small device that intercepted police radios and some transmissions from Sentinel Services. So far, nothing about the library and nobody matching Alison's description had been mentioned. Clarice took the time to stare at John. Her eyes fell onto the glass he held, studying how the condensation ran over his skin and how he held it _just_ tight enough to not to destroy it. The same way his other hand held hers. He had learned, at some point, how to walk the line between advancing his powers and not losing the things about him that made him steady. Reliable. Safe. It was a point, she now realized, she herself had not yet reached.

Around the eighth time that James turned to look at them, John downed the rest of his cup and stood. Clarice took one last gulp of hers and followed him back to James. She thought she saw a hint of relief in the younger brother's face.

"There's a vehicle approaching. Northeast, off-road. She's cutting through the woods. I don't feel any vibrations of trees being plowed and no helicopters in the sky; if she had anyone following her I'm sure she lost them."

John nodded, coming to the same conclusion. James was eager, but he was still on track. The black Audi came barreling out of the trees and underbrush filled with the sound of children cheering on their temporary Nascar driver. It came to hard stop ten feet away that left the vehicle lurching violently and the sound of everyone inside bumping into each other was audible to everyone. Clarice raised an eyebrow.

"James? How old is Kitty?"

She thought she saw the corner of his mouth tick upwards as he watched everyone pile out of the doors. "Twenty. But she's been with the underground since she was sixteen, I think. Probably not licensed."

Just when Clarice was feeling hopeful James might lighten up a tiny bit, the grim expression settled back onto his face. Wishful thinking, it seemed. By the time all of the mutants were out of the van and heading towards the house, Kitty had seen James's face and known something was wrong. She did a bounce-run that made her ponytail swing as she came closer and it reminded Clarice of the signature _Baywatch_ run.

"What's the matter? Why do you look like we're out of food?"

"Alison's missing."

Kitty gaped. "What? What happened?"

Clarice could feel his eyes on her as he answered.

"We don't know. She disappeared somewhere between Sentinel Services showing up and us teleporting out. We're going back to look for her."

"Got it."

"I need you to keep a hold of Blink and stay phased. We're anticipating a welcoming committee."

Kitty nodded and grabbed Clarice's arm so quickly that the green eyed mutant was taken aback. Growing up looking as outrageously as she did and cycling through foster homes and orphanages, she'd never gotten much in the way of physical affection. Most had gone out of their way _not_ to touch her. Such a casual willingness was...an adjustment.

Blink opened the portal and the Proudstar men entered first, methodically sweeping across the library. Shadowcat stepped in perfect sync with Blink as they came through and the portal closed. Already, Warpath was in a far corner of the room looking for any sign of Dazzler, as if the art history section could tell him what happened. She supposed there were less reasonable expectations out there.

"Alison, if you can hear me, give me a sign." he half-whispered in his search for clues. She thought she might have heard _Please_ after that in a voice that was uncharacteristically small and desperate. He was a far cry from the man who sat at the counter top with her yesterday, all smiles and snark. Thunderbird had progressed into the adjoining computer lab room but soon re-emerged with nothing. Blink and Shadowcat looked in every bathroom and under every desk, just to be sure she wasn't still hiding, but there were no Sentinel Services agents and there was no Dazzler. Blink told herself that tit wasn't her fault, but as each spot came up empty, the knot of anxiety in her chest grew. When the whole building had been searched, Warpath looked worse. He ducked out of the main room and seconds later Blink heard the sound of porcelain exploding and water spraying. When he returned, he was drenched from head to chest.

"We hit Sentinel Services, then." Thunderbird started to protest, but Warpath wasn't having it. "There's only four possibilities here, John. Three, with this off the list. Either the Sentinels locked her up, or she's stuck in the portal, or she's dead. _I have to know_ , John! I _have_ to know."

His voice broke in the last sentence and pity crept into John's face.

"Brother, going in there without a plan is suicide. There aren't even any signs of a real struggle here, we don't even know if they have her! I will gladly risk my life to bring her back, but I will not risk it for nothing. I'm not risking Blink for that and I'm not letting you risk Shadowcat without cause. Busting into Sentinel Services..." he stopped, flashing back to Pulse and the others he and Marcos had lost on last year's calamitous mission. They, too, had thought they could take on the agents. Turned out they were only handing over his best friend on a silver platter. "Nobody comes back from that. We get a confirmation first, we take advantage of as many weaknesses we can find, and then we strike."

Warpath's voice raised an octave and he pointed an accusing finger at his brother.

"You are treating this like it's some sort of mission! This isn't Kuwait! I'm not asking Master Sergeant Proudstar, **I'm asking my brother to help me**!" He paused just long enough to draw more breath, "Clearly, that's asking for too much."

There was a small sound as a fist-sized portal formed and closed near Warpath and his eyes jerked to Blink. Thunderbird adjusted one leg, his body blocking half of her from sight of his brother.

"One night, James. Give it _one_ night. We'll stay up, we'll tap every source we have to see if she's there and what sector. If she is, I'll get every fighter ready and drive you there myself. But give it one night. Let us be prepared and let us be sure."

Thunderbird pleaded with his brother, knowing that if he didn't accept this option, there'd be no stopping him. Shadowcat turned to Blink and she caught her gaze, recognizing the same thought crossing her mind: Either the group was about to split, or there was going to be an all-out fistfight between John and James. Neither of them wanted to see the kind of wreckage that would leave.

Fury remained etched all over Warpath's features. _This,_ Clarice though, _is why he's called Warpath_.

"If they brainwash her- if they turn her into their little pet- I swear I will hunt down each and every agent I find, and anyone who gets in my way."

Thunderbird closed his eyes. This was the best answer he was going to get and still it was a loaded one. If Warpath went vigilante on Sentinel Services, things would become exponentially worse. If the agents didn't manage to kill him, they'd find a way to drug him and use him. If Warpath's massacre was successful, there was the risk of the government conducting a drone strike to eliminate him, and that would destroy not only his brother but also anyone in a fifteen to twenty mile radius. Forgoing that, such an attack on Sentinel Services would lead to even harsher discrimination against mutants, and there was a chance a mob of fellow mutants could hunt him down. John knew firsthand from contact with the X-Men three years ago that there were mutants whose powers were beyond match or measure. The last thing anyone needed was to be hunted down by an omega level mutant. He opened his eyes and let them settle on Blink. In them, she saw the weight of his brother's life on his shoulders and the question of if he was making the right choice.

"Take us home, please."

Blink reached out and cradled the side of his face in her hand, knowing it was little comfort but wanting to offer _something_ , however slight. Then she ripped open a portal and the four of them walked back to the Underground safehouse.

Kitty broke away first, bounding into the house and up the stairs to her room to contact the other Underground hideout and let them know what happened. Clarice stayed with John and John kept a close watch over his brother, never letting him out of his sight. If James made a run for it, John was the only one fast enough to catch him.

True to his word, John spent hours on a burn phone making calls to all the mutant telepaths and clairvoyants he knew, checking for news on Alison. Then he sent a text to Sage, hoping the number still worked, begging for any hits she might have on Sentinel Services' database. Finally, he grabbed his scanner and flipped it on, once again listening for messages as he watched James settle behind a computer and start checking the social media for relevant gossip. Clarice slipped away just long enough to grab two protein bars and sank down on the couch next to John. She flicked one into his lap and pulled her legs up underneath her as she leaned against his side.

"So, this is a stakeout. Should we be taking shifts? I can portal us faster than he can run, so it's alright if you need to take a ten minute nap or something."

John looked at his girlfriend out of the corner of his eye, more than a little grateful but equally resolute.

"I'm good but you should rest; you're not used to making that many portals at that distance in one day. Speaking of which," he swiveled towards her, one hand encircling her wrist and a thumb idly rubbing it, "That other portal you made, the small one. Was that accidental? Did we push you too much?"

Belatedly Clarice remembered what John had told her during training: _take slow breaths. Calm your heart rate. Wait for the right moment, then commit to the action_. If she did all of that, her portals would stabilize and the perimeter wouldn't wiggle around like it did. The last time she'd practiced too hard he'd immediately told her to stop, that he could see her hands starting to shake, and that using her power in that condition would do more harm than good.

"No. No, it wasn't that. It's just that-" her mind recalled the sheer wrath in James's face and the volume of his voice as he shouted and she couldn't finish.

"Where were you going to send him?" he asked carefully, no judgment in his voice but Clarice's eyes widened.

"What? No, I wasn't sending him anywhere. At least, I wasn't planning to, the portal just...opened."

She focused on her knee, the worn denim covering it seemed a safe place to look. He drew her gaze back upward with a finger under her chin and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You were scared?" He phrased it like a question, for her sake. They both knew it was fact.

"I was uncomfortable. Sometimes a growling cougar works as good as a warm jelly donut."

John closed his eyes, though Clarice knew his ears were still trained on his brother, and touched his forehead to hers. His voice dropped down to a whisper.

"I would never let him hurt you, you know that, right?"

He opened his eyes, hoping to find faith still resting in hers. He needed to know that she trusted him, that when things got hairy he would be there for her. He didn't like the thought of her hastily jumping through escape portals as she had so often done in the past. The instinct to run was second nature to her and he worried one day she would jump too far away to track.

"I know. It was just...reflex. Kid's got a hell of a temper."

John gave a wan smile and nuzzled her nose with his own.

"Yeah, always has. Always thought he'd grow out of it though. He's twenty-one, I guess it's a lost cause now."

"You think?" she quipped, emerald eyes sparkling.

He stared at her until he found his finger tracing a path along her eyebrow and he reminded himself that tonight was about Alison. He let his hand drop to his lap and refocused.

"We're not getting any leads on Sentinel Services. Clarice, is there any chance that Alison's still inside that portal from earlier?"

Clarice took a deep breath, not ready to move on from that one comfortable moment, and thought about it.

"Yes? She was definitely in front of me, John. I saw her. I always save myself for last to make sure I don't leave anyone. She went in and...and didn't come out and I don't know why."

Across the room, John heard James stifle a yawn. He looked at Clarice's half open eyes and put an arm around her, drawing her nearer, and listened to her heartbeat slow. It had been a long day for all of them but she needed the rest more than him. Were she more alert, she would realize his plot to lull her into slumber, but as things stood, she was already entering the first stages of sleep. This wasn't his first sleepless night and wouldn't be the last. He was thankful, at least, for someone to hold on to.


	3. Training

The bed was cold and the room was filled with sunlight when Clarice woke up. It was only after grudgingly sitting up and idly wondering how long John has been awake that the previous day’s events came back to her. Blearily, it occurred to her that John’s side was cold because John never went to sleep. She didn’t recall when she’d fallen asleep, but the fact that she woke up in bed rather than on the couch was a rather clear testament that John was back to his masochistic tendencies of trying to do everything by himself. She frowned at his pillow and rolled out of bed.

By the time Clarice came downstairs, most of the mutants in the house were awake and milling about. She plucked an apple from the kitchen as she tried to catch a glimpse of John and took a bite when he was nowhere to be found. She tried, only in the slightest sense of the word, to temper the anger that was starting to well up in her. If he and his brother had left on a rescue mission without her – without so much as waking her to tell her they were going – she was going to give him _several_ pieces of her mind.

Halfway through ravaging her apple, she spotted Kitty in the seat James had occupied last night, painstakingly searching the internet for any crumb of information on Alison. For the moment, Clarice decided to let her be. If Kitty was still here, perhaps they hadn’t snuck off alone on a kamikaze mission. Then again, John and James were brothers, and it was entirely possible that John would make an exception. Feeling uneasy, Clarice made her way to the front door and stepped outside for some air.

The sight that greeted her was surreal: there lay, scattered in splinters all around the property, remnants of what must have been a very large tree at one point, broken chain links bigger than her wrist flung in every direction, and Clarice was pretty sure that when she’d gone to sleep last night that there wasn’t a gigantic concrete cylinder in the yard and yet there it was. The sight should have reassured her, knowing from the look of it that the Proudstar men were surely still around, but it troubled her more than the empty bed.

She went walking.

The further she walked, the more debris she found and the more she wondered how she’d slept through so much destruction. Over a mile away from the Underground, Clarice could hear the deep rumble and thuds of heavy objects being moved; some of it she could even feel shaking the ground. In the distance, she could see the silhouette of one of the brothers, something large hoisted over his head.

“John?”

She couldn’t hear an answer but she knew he’d heard her. Ahead, she saw the figure put down his load and a second figure appeared climbing up out of the ground. One of them waved, and she took that as her cue and opened a portal to shortcut the distance. Crystal clear in front of her, Clarice suddenly had an eyeful of sweat-slicked hair, bronzed skin, and the greatest pair of abdominals she’d ever seen in her life. She blinked.

“Not to be a third wheel, but what are you guys doing?”

She could see now, thanks to the portal, a hell of a gaping hole in the ground behind them. Around _that_ were sledgehammers, shovels, a huge plank of plywood, two more concrete cylinders, and their shirts.

James bent to grab his shirt and wipe the sweat from his face. John stood panting and looking parched.

“We’re building an escape tunnel for the Underground. Just in case.”

“….Okay.”

She gave him the _This is weird_ face and John smiled and told his brother to take a break. James didn’t protest, stepping through the portal and passing by Clarice, heading straight to the house. Surprised, Clarice walked through and let the portal close.

“Is he not grounded anymore?” she ventured, shoving her hands into her back pockets and looking around again.

 “He’s too exhausted to run.”

“Ah. All-night building project to wear him out. Smart. Kind of.”

“Kind of?” John asked, turning to retrieve a bottle of water off of the ground and chugging it in one gulp. 

“Well, look at you. You look trashed. It’s one thing to not sleep all night; it’s another to not sleep _and_ start a construction project.”

“The task served it’s purpose and we have an alternate escape route now. Win-win.”

Clarice stared at him with an expression that said _Really?_ and John tapped his bicep with two fingers, just under his _Semper Fi_ tattoo. “Bootcamp is 20% physical training and 80% mental reconditioning. They drill it into your mind that the simplest solution is the best one. There’s a reason we’re called Jarheads.”

Clarice relented. All things considered, John’s middle-of-the-night construction idea wasn’t bad as far as late night, last minute thinking went.

“You still have to sleep, at some point.”

He looked at her and Clarice could almost hear the words on the tip of his tongue – _I’ll sleep when I’m dead_ – but he was smart enough to change the subject. He set the empty bottle on the ground and stepped closer. 

“Last time I checked in with Kitty, there was still no news on Alison. I’ve been thinking--” he said, his hands loosely touching her upper arms, “how do you feel about some more training? Just a little fine tuning?” 

He said it gently enough, giving her the option to decline, but she knew he was hoping she would agree. She looked away, fighting the desire to roll her eyes because she didn’t need to be babied but he was running on fumes at this point and he was _trying so hard_ to be that guy – the Leader with all of the answers. When she looked back at him, she made sure to frown just a little just so he’d know she wasn’t totally forgiving the change of subject.

 “Now?”

“Why not now?” He countered, dazzling her with that smile again that made her forget why she was protesting.

“I don’t know, because you’re sleep deprived and probably starving and that’s a recipe for disaster?”

“Perhaps if I was the one training, but I’m not, I’m just giving guidance. Any other excuses?”

Damn John and his skill at rationalizing everything. Clarice shrugged and relaxed her arms to her sides, bracing her feet in what had become her Ready position. John rubbed his hands together.

“Alright. We’ve worked on portal size and locations before, today let’s focus on efficiency. That creek two miles from here we passed yesterday, can you make a small portal there?”

She nodded, flexing her hands and pulling open a portal the size of a basketball in front of her chest. Through it, John could see woodlands and a muddy bank.

“Good. Let it go.”

Clarice released her hands and the portal snapped closed.

“Okay, this time, the landfill down the street from the original Atlanta hideout.”

Again Clarice made a portal in front of her, and again he told her to close it after a few seconds.

“The old Sears building off of Madison Avenue where we found Natalie and the others.”

Open. Closed.

“The treehouse Marcos built in Florida.”

Open. Closed.

“The bomb shelter we hid in in Tennessee.”

She opened it and John bent down, picked up a rock and launched it at her. Clarice instantly let the portal shut and ducked out of the way.

“John?!”

John sighed and scooped up his empty water bottle.

“The landfill, again.”

Quicker than before, Clarice opened a portal, but this time John was looking at his own back. He canted his head to the side and Clarice smirked before closing it.

“That’s good! That’s exactly it. Open another one.”

Clarice opened another small portal to an empty area and John threw the bottle. She closed it and he launched another rock that she portalled away before it could hit her. In her mind, his words to his brother came back to her: _You and I will be fine when the bullets fly, but they aren't going to bounce off of Blink._

“This isn’t about my portals, is it? This is about the gunfire.”

John settled onto the ground, his arms resting on bent knees and Clarice dropped down beside him.

“We don’t have any flak jackets, this seemed like the next best thing. There’s always going to be somebody shooting at us, whether it’s a Sentinel firing bullets or a mutant firing lasers. I do everything I can, but I can’t be there every time.”

He choked the words out, as if it hurt him physically to admit it. Clarice saw where he was going with that train of thought – if he’d let Alison take the kid, then he could have been the one to hang back and stop the attack and maybe nobody would be missing right now.

“John, this wasn’t your fault. We got out of there as quick as we could and nobody got shot.”

John went on as if he hadn’t heard her. “If we can get you to where the portals are second nature, where you can open them on reflex and still be in control, that could be a game changer. A total shift in control on the field.” 

Clarice thought back to when she’d woken up on a cot the day after she’d overworked herself. The damage to the Underground. The way some of the other mutants had looked at her, as if she were a walking catastrophe waiting to happen.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea? To just make portals, all the time? Do you hear yourself?”

“That’s what the training is for, to build up your stamina. Portal away the projectiles like grenades and bullets and half-portal anything bigger. Now, you were the last person in the room with Alison. The only one to see her use her power. Was she still using her ability when she stepped into the portal?”

Clarice almost wished she never showed John what happens when she doesn’t know where she’s sending something. The image of amputating armed opponents with her portals flashed in her mind and Clarice told herself that John didn’t realize what he’d just suggested. She hoped things never really came to that. Instead, she replayed the memory of their last mission in her mind: John bolting with the kid, the Sentinels busting into the room, the shower of lights, the whip of Alison’s hair as she brushed past her.

“I think so. Why?”

“James said Alison’s ability has something to do with light particles and sound. Yours involves connecting and separating atoms. I’m thinking-”

“That maybe our abilities had a synergistic interaction?” He looked at her in surprise. This time Clarice did roll her eyes. “I cut school a lot but I still aced chemistry.”

“Basically. James also said he knew of another mutant who made portals. I was thinking we could check with him.”

“What, to see if they ever vaporized someone with their portals?”

“Come on,” John stood up in one swift motion, extending her a hand, “let’s head back.”

Clarice and John returned to the Underground to find the first floor sparsely populated, the noticeable lack of energy in the room akin to being in a library long after closing. Clarice looked at John and watched as he closed his eyes and focused.

“Forty-seven people, everyone’s here.” He opened his eyes a beat later and gazed at the basement door. “The rest are in the training room. There’s a sparring match going and _I’ve got to get down there before that idiot hurts someone_.”

He rushed to the basement door and took the stairs three at a time and Clarice tailed him, keeping close to his back once they reached the bottom and he began sifting through the crowd. Clarice couldn’t see much thanks to John’s bulk, but she could hear the crowd’s reactions and she’d picked up from John’s mood that James was likely one of the fighters. When they reached the front, John moved to the right and Clarice was able to get a look at James and Kitty circling each other. James swung at the petite brunette with a perfectly aimed right hook – that went right through her. It was the second strange thing Clarice had seen that day, Kitty’s body going translucent and ghost-like. The moment his fist was clear of her body, Kitty became solid again and caught James with a wicked uppercut. Out of the corner of her eye, Clarice saw John relax just a fraction before he gave Kitty the signal to stop. She dropped her stance and the crowd began to break away as James turned to John, more than a little annoyed.

 “She’s not in any danger.”

“No, but you’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“You going to order me to my room, Master Sergeant Proudstar?”

His brother brushed past him and John followed behind him. Clarice looked at Kitty.

“Does he always get this grumpy when he’s tired?”

Kitty shrugged and rolled her shoulders.

“Not really. He usually just passes out whenever, but when he came back half an hour ago he just looked so haunted. So when he asked me to spar I just went with it. I took it easy on him, but don’t tell him that.”

Clarice turned to look for the brothers again and found them on a sofa in the corner. James was crying into his hands. Clarice took a breath and headed over.

“-didn’t know she was a mutant back then, you know? She was just this hot chick moving around the club like she owned it.”

As she got closer, Clarice could hear James talking between choked sobs. John was patiently listening, one hand carefully set on James’s shoulder.

“After 7/15, I met her again at the Philly Underground. She’d only been there three days before me and she was already putting together a defense team. She was Salim’s right hand from then on.”

Clarice strategically slid into the space on James’s other side. James inhaled sharply, suppressed a sob, and sniffed.

“I can’t track her and I can’t talk to her and I don’t even know if she’s okay. I would do anything for her.”

John and Clarice shared a look and John leaned forward, elbows to thighs to be eye to eye with James.

“We’ve been thinking. That mutant you mentioned the first night, the one who makes portals like Blink. We want to talk with him, pick his brain, get his help if we can. Do you have a way to contact him?”

James lifted his face and peered at his brother, one hand towards his pocket, his phone.

“The Philly Underground has a chat group on Discord. There’s usually at least a few of them on there.”

Clarice nodded, belatedly wondering why their Atlanta group hadn’t done the same thing, at least when they still had Sage to safeguard it. Kind of a good thing to have in case of emergencies – which seemed to come up far too often.

John exhaled and gave James’s shoulder a pat.

“It’ll have to do. Log in.”


	4. Alike

 John's eyes flew open a split second too late as a Cheerio collided with his forehead and tumbled down his cheek. Zingo leapt onto the bed in hot pursuit, gobbling it up off his collar bone and voraciously licking and sniffing the area for any more. John gave the dog a few pats and sat up. Clarice stood at the foot of the bed, bowl of cereal in hand and lifted her chin in challenge. She plucked another Cheerio from the bowl and held it between her fingers in warning. John scooted out of the bed.

"I'm up! I'm up!"

"Not that I don't dig the idea of you staying in bed more, but it's been nine hours and James is up and he wants to try again."

John stretched his arms and chest muscles, prompting Zingo to jump on him and he rubbed her again before coming to take what he was hoping was his breakfast from Clarice. She handed it over and they shared a brief kiss. The previous night had been disappointing; James had logged in the chat to find only two people online, both apparently AFK and he'd ended up posting a note that he wanted to speak with someone called Nightcrawler before disconnecting and he and John took turns using up all the hot water before going to bed. Now, however, it was evening and there was hope that wherever James's contact had been earlier, he might have seen the message by now.

"Also, maybe not the best time, but we may need to talk to Kitty about her phasing. I heard the teenagers arguing over whether or not it counts as sex if you walk through somebody."

John snorted and ate a quick spoonful, following Clarice downstairs. By the time they reached the bottom, James had spotted them from the sofa and was making his way over, Kitty close behind him. John took a look at all the socializing going on and muttered _Outside_ between mouthfuls.

A light drizzle of rain fell from an otherwise clear sky and James whipped out his phone, not bothering to sit down. John leaned against the porch railing.

Peeking over James's shoulder, Kitty's reaction gave it away before James could turn the phone towards them. A response had been pinned two hours ago beneath James's note saying to send a voice call once he saw the message. James hit Call and the speaker button and the line began to ring.

" _Hallo?"_ A masculine voice on the line answered in thick accent Clarice thought might have been Dutch.

"Hey man, this is Warpath. I just saw your post – thanks for responding, by the way. You're the guy who travels through wormholes or something, right?"

" _Ja."_

"I kind of wanted to ask you about the physics of it all. My team, we have someone like you-" Clarice tried not to bristle at the wording, at the insinuation that even among other mutants that she was not _like them_ , "and something went wrong and we're missing a team member. We wanted to know if maybe there's some void or whatever that lost people in portals go to or, I don't know, if there's some kind of memory log of recent portals made so we can track her-"

"Is there a way we can find out if she's still alive?" Clarice spoke over James, his rambling coming to a grinding halt at her bluntness. That was what he was getting at, anyway. What he was embarrassing her for. Did people cease to exist when they disappeared inside of a hole torn from the fabric of space itself? She didn't know, and now they had to ask a stranger because, apparently, _this_ stranger had manifested his mutant abilities at birth. _This_ mutant didn't work under the guidance of the X-men, he was a X-men _member_.

" _You are not going to like this, but it depends on your method of transportation."_

Kitty and James were looking at Clarice, as if the sentence made any more sense to her than it did to them. She frowned.

"What do you mean, the method? We hack reality with shortcuts between point A and B."

" _Liebchen, you are the transporter? Every mutant is different, even if we do the same thing, we accomplish things differently. Many ways to skin a cat."_

It was news to Clarice. She'd never really considered how many mutants had variations of the same power. Actually, she'd never in her wildest dreams thought there was another mutant who could do what she did. For there to be more than one person like her would have to mean that she wasn't a mistake. It was a wild thought.

John set aside his bowl and took the phone.

"Any chance we could meet up, get a demonstration? Maybe the method is the key to this whole thing."

" _..._ _Verarschen?_ _I am...not human passing. Most are uncomfortable with meine appearance."_

There was a pause as John tried and failed to figure out the first comment, then:

"Yeah, it's no problem. Tell us what you need to find us. Coordinates? Landmarks?"

" _Ein foto."_

"Done. Thanks man, I can't tell you how big of a favor this is."

John ended the call and stepped off of the porch to take pictures of the house and the yard. Kiity looked at James.

"Jimmy, have you met this guy before? Like, face to face?"

"No. Alison met him once, mentioned him in passing. All I know is he was one of the last groups the X Men trained before everything went sideways. I don't know what Underground he's at, but Philly's leader – Salim – he hits him up when he wants advice."

"When do you think he's co-"

John made a startled yelp and all eyes turned to him and the...very unusual mutant standing next to him. Kitty took in a breath. No wonder Nightcrawler had warned them about his looks. He was blue, for starters, skin engraved with strange symbols all over his face and arms _._ His pronged hands and feet were unlike any Clarice had ever seen, and his ears were pointed even more sharply than hers. And then there was that swishing, pointed tail behind him that just made it even more utterly ridiculous that he was dressed in a white tank top and gray sweats. He was the first teleporter Clarice had ever laid eyes on, outside of a mirror, and she quietly wondered if every mutant of her type was cursed with the inability to blend in. John signaled for them to come over.

"Guys, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Kitty, James and Clarice."

"Hallo."

Up close, Kurt had the most vibrant golden yellow eyes. Or rather the most vibrant eye sockets, there being no distinction between pupil and scelera. A fact which Kurt was well aware of, his eyelids hooding in a way that made Clarice think he was looking at the ground, avoiding eye contact. She remembered how sensitive she'd been about her own when somebody referred to them as 'radioactive green'. A little piece of her heart cracked and she reached forward to pull him into a loose hug.

"Nice to meet you, Kurt."

He hesitantly hugged her back in a quick motion, two exaggerated canines showing when he offered a shy smile. It was enough to jolt the others out of the shock of seeing him, and Kitty and James took turns shaking his hand.

Five minutes later found the group seated on the grass as James recounted to Kurt the details of what had happened to Alison followed by John explaining his theory of a possible biological incompatibility between Alison and Clarice. Kurt turned towards her, his tail flicking idly behind his shoulder.

"Interesting. Shall we take a trip _und_ compare notes?"

Clarice hesitated, accustomed to having John with her when she portal hopped, until she saw him give a small nod.

"Sure." She stood and brushed the back of her jeans off. Taking two steps from the group, Clarice spotted the closest energy mass and stood there, readying her hands, and pulling open a portal. "After you."

Kurt and the rest stood, though he watched with his head tilted to the side and a slight frown. On the other side of the portal lay a park Clarice had run away to once in her childhood in Savannah. There was a downpour and cool gusts of wind and rain were blowing through. Kurt walked in and after a look back at John, Clarice walked in behind him and let the portal close. Her hair was pasted to her head before she could regret the lack of an umbrella. Kurt was unbothered.

"Can you make another? Somewhere more private?"

She squinted in the rain, spotted another energy mass and opened a portal to an abandoned barn she'd taken cover in last year. When they were both through, she released the portal and immediately wrung the water out of her hair. When she was done, she found Kurt watching her.

"How far are we from your Underground?"

She shrugged. "A couple of states."

" _Und_ you are not exhausted, _liebchen_?"

"No?"

" _Geil!_ " He looked positively giddy. "Do you even know how amazing that is? _Komm_."

He took her hand, and before Clarice knew it, they were standing in an empty room. It looked to be the remnants of an old laboratory. Clarice coughed and gagged, tried not to retch. Kurt rubbed her back.

"Sorry. It happens to everyone the first time. It's the sulphur."

Clarice coughed. "Sulphur?!"

" _Ja._ Think about it, how do you make your portals? You think it's as simple as connecting here to there? Can you make a portal just anywhere?"

She wheezed and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "No. Only where there's enough energy built up. There has to be an access point."

" _Und_ can you go anywhere from any portal?"

She hugged her arms to herself, starting to become chilled from being soaked to the bone. Kurt was talking to her in that way teachers did when they were really into a subject and wanted more class participation. Clarice almost started daydreaming out of conditioned response.

"Not quite. It either has to be somewhere I've been before or somewhere I can see. Otherwise...bad things happen."

"Exactly. Nature has it's own rules. There has to be something there to connect the two points. You want to know about the sulphur? It took me a long time to find out, but when I travel, I move from one dimension to another _und_ back."

"Another dimension?"

He smiled a toothy smile again, stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned back on nothing. After a second, Clarice realized he was balancing against his tail.

"I have seen a lot, in time you will too. The truth is that reality has layers, _und_ each of those layers is another dimension. The connective layer between _meine_ teleportation points is the Brimstone Dimension."

She frowned and tried not to look as uncomfortable as she felt. "Sounds delightful."

"I think the answer to your problem of the missing _madchen_ is in your connective layer; your midpoint."

"So the void ate her? What about the photons and atoms and echo weaponization? You're telling me this isn't some science experiment gone wrong, but that she's literally lost?"

Kurt nodded, one hand gesturing at nothing in particular.

"Or taken." When Clarice just stared blankly at him, he continued. "You have never seen anyone like me before, _ja_? Truthfully, I am only half mutant. The other dimensions aren't exactly empty. _Liebchen_ ," he said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "Have you ever seen another such as yourself?"

The implication hung thickly in the air. Clarice thought about how much of her life she'd spent in orphanages and foster care. How she'd broken into the file room and found there was no information at all on her parents. How no matter how many mutants she met, none of them had eyes like hers.

She turned and emptied the contents of her stomach. Kurt sighed, grabbed her by the hand, and teleported.

They popped back in front of the Underground amidst a small cloud of what Clarice now knew to be sulphuric smoke and she puked again.

"Clarice?!"

John was running towards her and she gripped Kurt's arm to keep from faceplanting in vomit. John had her a second later, and she could feel the rumble of his voice in his chest as he asked Kurt what happened.

"John, I'm fine." she mumbled into his chest, more lightheaded than she cared to admit. She was pretty sure her stomach had nothing left but she desperately hoped not to puke on her boyfriend. Few things were less attractive than that. John tipped his head downward and Clarice swore she could feel him frowning at her.

"You're drenched, shivering, and hurling like a supermodel before a show. You're not fine."

John shifted her to one arm, the other sweeping behind her knees to gather her up in his arms. If she could trust her nausea to stay at bay, she'd tell him he was overreacting. As it was, she held her breath and willed her stomach to settle.

"A bit of tea might help her, if you have it." She heard Kurt suggest as John turned and carried her towards the house, all traces of earlier confidence gone.

By the time Clarice had changed into dry clothes and drank some tea, Kurt was gone and John was hovering like a distressed knight. When John finally stepped away to check in on Marcos, Clarice flagged James over.

"Did you get a chance to talk to Kurt before he left? Please tell me he's coming back, because I don't think we were done and I don't think I was smart enough to ask enough questions."

James sat gingerly on the corner of the bed, as if not quite sure it was allowed.

"Yeah. He said to tell you he's sorry you got sick. He sounded really impressed that you can move so many people through your portals; said he can only manage one extra person at a time and that it takes a lot out of him. He also said he thinks Alison might be 'in the in-between' somewhere. And that when he comes back he's bringing a friend."

Clarice bit her lower lip and pulled a pillow into her lap.

"Damn, I missed all the good stuff."

James made a quick glance at the door, then back to her. He felt younger to her all of the sudden, and Clarice blamed it on his shifty-ness. His body language was that of a child with a secret and the fact that he was already so much more casual than John made it hard to read him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...Yeah." She had a feeling that she wasn't going to like where this conversation was about to go. _Please_ , she though, clutching the pillow a bit tighter, _don't ask about Kurt's appearance. Don't ask about my appearance. Don't ask if we're related. Don't ask!_

"Kurt said something else before he left. He said he noticed that traveling in your portals, time stays the same. Instant transport."

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" It was mostly true. Most of the time. 

"He said it's different with him. He said he teleports in real time, as if…as if you do it in suspended time." James licked his lips, glanced at the door again and lowered his voice. "Do you know how long you two were gone? Four hours."

Clarice's eyes widened. Four hours? No way that had been four hours! It felt like thirty, forty-five minutes at most.

"Seriously?"

James nodded. "He said some mumbo jumbo I didn't totally follow, but the general idea was that travel takes time, it's just that the time passes differently so we don't perceive it or something. But he says you're different. He thinks you're not just ripping holes in space, Clarice. He thinks your power interferes with time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt Wagner AKA Nightcrawler is a canon character though I've mixed movie version with comics version. I used 3 wikis to research his powers but lmk if I misunderstood something.


	5. Anacosmic

“Interesting how you left that bit out when you told me.”

John appeared in the doorway and James jumped. It wasn’t often that someone was able to sneak up on him, leave it to John to be the exception. James carefully eased off of the bed.

“Well, you know, it’s just a theory. It’s not confirmed. You wanted the facts, I gave you the facts.”

John inclined his head and James took that as his cue to leave, slipping out of the room without so much as a look back. Clarice leaned back against the headboard.

“Don’t be that way, John. He said it himself, it’s just speculation.”

“Hmm.” John settled beside her and handed her a bowl of sliced fruit. She watched his eyes flit over her face for signs of lingering sickness and thought he might have made a very good doctor, in another life. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m floating. I think I lost ten pounds and I kind of want them back.”

John smiled and placed a quick kiss on her temple. “That’s my girl.” He gave a pointed looked at the bowl and felt Clarice’s heart rate spike when she looked at it. He huffed and moved closer, sliding it onto the nightstand and tucking his arm behind her. “Alright, then. I heard James’s secondhand version of things, what’s your version? What happened when you left with Kurt?”

“We moved twice; once with my ability, once with his. We weren’t even talking that long, I started to get sick, so he brought me back.”

“Why did you get sick?” His fingers rubbed a slow circle on her arm. John, she knew, wasn’t trying to interrogate her so much as he was patiently trying to understand what had gone wrong. His cautious, attentive way about things was one of the traits she loved about him.

“I think I inhaled some sulphur.”

John’s fingers slowed and Clarice knew he was processing that new bit of information. 

“That’s what that was. Where did you go that there was so much of it?”

“Pfft! You’d never guess! Are you ready for this? He said it’s called **The Brimstone Dimension.** Didn’t get a look at it but I can tell you it’s not just a fancy name.”

John took a breath. “He took you...to another dimension? Another actual…..Jesus, Clarice.”

Ah, there was The Tone™, the _why didn’t you tell me you were going to do that it wasn’t in the plan_ tone that she knew so well. Except that it wasn’t her decision this time, she was a passenger on this particular journey. Not that this was even about who was responsible for it; that was never relevant to John. What bothered him, what _always_ bothered him about unknown variables, was that he didn’t know if it was safe. If she would be safe. And as much as she wished to reassure him, that was something Clarice didn’t have an answer for.

“Yeah. Never knew it existed until now but I’m willing to believe him on this one.” He closed his eyes and buried his face into the side of her neck. Clarice poked him in the stomach. “Hey. Deactivate Worry Mode, I made it back fine. Also? I think we can trust Kurt. He passes through there all of the time and nothing bad’s happened to him. I don’t say this often, but he seemed like a cool guy, I don’t think he would put me in danger.”

“You just met him.” She shifted her weight and turned so she could look into his eyes. She pinched the side of his cheek and he managed a wan smile that faded before it could fully bloom. “Six years in the Marines. Two tours in Afghanistan, and I’ve lost more mutants on rescue missions and supply runs than I ever did soldiers in the Middle East.”

Clarice stumbled for words of comfort, for anything that might redirect John from going further down that train of thought. Any time his military days or his prizefighting came up, John fell back on judging his former self, and somehow the resulting repentance was always self sacrifice. She was starting to run out of creative ways to thwart his suicide missions. 

_“Every war is different. Every war is the same._ Same script, different cast – but without the government funding.”

John arched an eyebrow and his expression softened. “You watched _Jarhead._ ”

“I tried to watch _Platoon_ too, but...” She made a face and John intuitively knew the movie had too much gore for her liking. Still, the notion that she’d tried to watch it, had made an attempt to understand his past, was enough for him. It was moments like this when he was incredibly grateful to have her for a girlfriend. He wasn’t above teasing her, though.

“You know _Platoon_ is Army-centric, right? Not Marines.”

John watched the smirk cross Clarice’s face and knew she really was feeling better.

“I don’t know, all you camouflage guys kind of look the same.”

“Oh, do we?” John leaned in, and it was all of the invitation Clarice needed.

Clarice knew the precise moment something went wrong. One minute she was taking vengeance for the nip he’d given her lower lip, the next, John had stilled and was pulling away from her. She reluctantly opened her eyes to see John staring off to the side, concentrating. Listening. Not that she didn’t love John, but sometimes she thought his abilities were _the_ most exasperating thing on Earth.

“Really?” John held up a hand. Before Clarice could turn her attention to her fruit salad, James appeared in the doorway looking tense.

“You hear that?”

“Yeah.”

Clarice looked from one to the other. She hadn’t heard anything, but whatever they were hearing had to be on that dog whistle range of pitch if it was catching both brothers’ attention like it was. It was odd enough seeing John get all stiff and focused; seeing two people do it was trippy.

“Do you two need a moment? Should I go?”

She was half-serious. She became fully serious when two portals opened on the far wall, one beside the other. They were small, each no bigger than a dinner plate. Both ringed in familiar pinkish-purple outlines that branded them as hers despite the fact that she hadn’t made any effort to do so. Let alone the fact that there was no energy nexus in the room. Clarice stared, transfixed and utterly _confused_. She felt John’s hand on her upper back and he was quiet just long enough for her to realize he was tracking her heart rate.

Then came that maddeningly calm voice he used whenever things were getting dangerous. “Clarice? Are you still dizzy? Does your head hurt? Do I need to call a doctor?”

She tore her gaze away from the portals out of irritation alone. He was thinking about Atlanta, again. When she destroyed the safehouse. Was she never going to live that down?

“No,” her tone came out more clipped than she intended, “I’m fine. I know what this looks like, but it’s not me.”

James turned to them. “I think we should call Kurt.”

John gave Clarice one more look before sliding off of the bed and crossing the room in three quick strides. “We should definitely call Kurt. You stay with her, keep an eye on those. Throw back anything that comes through.” 

James nodded and handed over his phone and the elder Proudstar was out of the room and trailing down the hallway in seconds. James cautiously crept further into the room, his attentive gaze never leaving the portals as he came to stand near the bed. Clarice looked too, though the other side showed nothing but sky. A bright, sunlight sky that was clearly far from the lengthening shadows of evening outside. She tried to estimate the distance of the portal by the time difference. How many hours behind the East Coast was California? What about Alaska, would it still be sunny there? She hadn’t been to either place, but maybe she and Kurt were more alike than she’d thought, maybe she’d seen a picture and her mind had conjured up a portal based on some tourism advertisement. 

She slipped off of the bed and approached the portals, but a hand quickly wound around her upper arm in protest. James tugged lightly at her, his other hand reaching in a back pocket where – if he was like his brother – a knife hid in waiting just in case a threat did appear. Fine, she didn’t need to be that close anyway. Clarice readied her hands and began trying to force the portals closed. Neither budged, and she took a quick break to catch her breath and try again. She grimaced shoving as much pure will as she could muster, the resistance taut like a bow in her hands, and pushed until she felt a sharp burning sensation beneath her left eye. She stopped with a yelp and quickly cupped her face. James moved between her and the portals, checking for incoming projectiles before turning towards her.

“What’s wrong? What hap-- arrgh!”

A shower of bright sparks fell from the portals and James jerked back, nudging Clarice out of the way. He misjudged the strength and Clarice toppled backwards rolling onto the bed, stopping just shy of the headboard. The sparks stopped as suddenly as they started and James glanced back.

“Shit! I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“A little warning would be nice.” She mumbled back, one hand sweeping hair out of her face. She was surprised, but fine, even if her face _was_ still burning. She supposed she took it for granted how careful John was never to do that. For all of their similarities, John and James had some colossal differences. It was like they were two sides of a coin; defense and offense. Or severity and salvation, and Clarice was pretty sure which was ‘severity’. She shot James a glare and he offered a hand in apology. “What was that, anyway?”

“Dunno. Can portals be electrified?”

“Damn if I know.”

“Only one way to find out, then.”

“Uh, NO.” She had a sudden flash of intuition of what it must have been like for Mama Proudstar, with two nearly indestructible children who were probably hellbent on testing the limits of their survival. James feigned a reach for the portal and Clarice latched onto his arm. “James,--”

At the mention of his name, the portals began to spark again and Clarice shrank back but James stood firm, watching the display. Distantly, Clarice thought she heard music drifting through the portal.

“Do you hear disco music or is it just me?”

“That’s a Donna Summer song, Radio-something. It’s one of Alison’s favorite songs.”

“This is getting weird.”

Before she could protest, James stuck his hand under the spray of sparks. They didn’t seem to burn him, though whether it was because they were harmless or because of his hyperdurability Clarice wasn’t sure. 

“It’s a sign! This is definitely a sign from Ali, it has to be.” James was getting worked up, his words coming out faster and his face bright with excitement. He stepped up to one portal and stuck his face in. _“ALISON!”_

Clarice yanked at his arm with all of her might. 

“Do I need to explain to you why that’s a bad idea?! You don’t know what could be waiting on the other side of that or when it’s going to close! James!” She struggled trying to wrestle him away and having little effect. In true Proudstar fashion, James seemed to have little regard for the danger, and Clarice decided bigger guns were needed. “John!!”

John was barreling into the room half a second later, no doubt ready to destroy whatever upset her, and promptly peeled his brother away once he saw the stupidity in progress.

“It’s Ali! Let me go, it’s Ali! I know it’s her!”

The brothers wrestled against each other and Clarice saw for the first time that they were evenly matched. She wasn’t sure whether or not that fact worried her, but she was sure that she was becoming very uncomfortable with how their tussling was starting to escalate into a real fight; James had already elbowed John once and she’d seen the way his fingers had kept curling up, ready to deploy a fist at a moment’s notice. When the portals suddenly closed a few seconds later, they were still going at it, more out of frustration than anything else.

“ _Liebchen_ , are you alright?” The voice behind her unintentionally caused a chain reaction of Clarice jumping, John shifting his focus to her, and James knocking John back a few paces. Kurt frowned and with a light, hesitating touch his oddly shaped hand reached up to caress just beneath her eye. The slight contact produced a twinge of pain that made her flinch and John took a step towards her on reflex. “This is new.” She couldn’t see her face, but she could guess what it was that he saw: a second pink marking, mirroring the first. Kurt removed his hand and Clarice gingerly touched the area with one finger.

“Another one, great. I really hit the jackpot with the whole ‘get magical scars at random’ mutation.” 

Kurt spared her a sympathetic look, then tilted his head. “But you did. There are more...inconvenient mutations, _lieblich._ ”

“So I’m told. I suppose it’s asking for too much to want to know what causes them. ‘Mystery’ is like the founding molecule of the X gene.” She glanced away, her eyes alighting first on the bowl of fruit, then to the area where the portals had been. 

Huffing, James sent John one last irritated look before stepping closer to them. “Hate to tell you, but you missed the show. Portals left just like they came.”

John edged closer too, and Clarice could see that he was bothered by Kurt’s proximity to her yet trying not to be. She took a half step from Kurt, lest John do the whole put-my-arm-around-my-girl-so-you-get-the-point thing. They didn’t need the added awkwardness that would bring. Kurt seemed unaware of the vibe and met John’s eyes with the same openness as before.

“On ze phone, you said they formed suddenly, ja? Was there anything different about them?”

John canted his head to the side and frowned. “There was a sound, a few seconds before it. More of a steady tone; a hum in the air.” James nodded and added “Sparks too. Like little fourth of July sparklers around the bottom of them.”

He didn’t say Alison’s name, but Clarice knew she was still fresh on his mind. The popping sparks rimming the portals _had_ somewhat looked like Dazzler’s little fireworks that appeared when she sang. And there _had_ been music, although she supposed that could’ve come from anywhere. James’ conviction wasn’t so far fetched. Kurt muttered something to himself none of them understood, caught himself, and clarified.

“Das portals to somewhere you don’t know appear in a place with no access point. They look ze same, act ze same, but are not yours.” Kurt nodded to himself. “Your problem is that someone else has ze key.”

John came to stand beside Clarice then, a bit of worry blending into his features. “What key? There is no key….right?” He look at her for support and she had no answer for him. Days ago, she had no idea there was even another teleporter. For there to be so many elements to the technique she hadn’t considered, she couldn’t say anything for sure anymore. The world as she knew it was spinning off axis.

“I explain: I am a door. I want to go, I go. Sometimes I can bring another, if we hold together. I move, _und_ I do not change anything but _mich_. You are a key. You open ze door; you make holes in ze barriers from here to there for others. Door opens without you, another person has ze key.” He looked over at the space again where the portals had been, at the lack of energy buildup. “Ah, what word? Bone key? Skull key?”

“Skeleton key.” John said, his lips pressing thin. James passed a hand over his face, as if it were too much for him to process, and Clarice crossed her arms. Kurt realized then that the news was unknown territory for all of them and that, just maybe, some steady footing was needed.

“Might I have a minute with _das madchen_?”

James walked out without another word. John touched Clarice’s shoulder, and once she said _It’s okay_ , he let his hand slide away and followed his brother; the door conspicuously left open. Kurt sat crosslegged on the floor in one graceful movement and beckoned Clarice to do the same. She obeyed.

“I shall tell to you a story. Once upon a time, a little blue boy was an orphan. Nobody wants this boy! His look is too strange, and nobody wants to play with him and nobody wants to take him home until one day, ze circus comes to town. The circus, they loved this little blue boy, and they took him and fed him and taught him tricks and the boy was happy. One day, a trick did not go well, and the boy was falling from very high up, and the boy was so scared, all he could think of was home. Und the next thing he knew, he was home! And when his friends found him they were so surprised and begged him to show the trick, but he did not know how he did it. Many years later, when the boy was now a man, he was hurt very badly. He tried to get away, but fell asleep. When he woke up, he met a very strange man in a very strange place, and that man was called Father.”

“You met your father in the Brimstone Dimension?”

“Ja. It is not empty, remember?”

“What does that mean?” Her mind whirled. When they met earlier, Kurt had described himself as only half mutant. If he met his father in another dimension, what did that make his other half?

“You and I, our gift is different from others. I have seen those who can fly, those who bend metal, make fire, make ice, read minds...they have the gift to change themselves or change the world around them. But you and I, _we do not change!_ We only connect. What it means, I think, is zat only those who belong to two worlds can cross over such as you and I.”

He sat there, quite proud of himself in his extended explanation and Clarice’s heart raced, her breath coming in shallow. “...You’re saying you think I’m from somewhere else? Is that what you’re saying?”

“It is likely.”

A tear crested Clarice’s cheek and she smudged it away before it could go any further. Kurt had hinted at it before, but somehow having it said so plainly was all the more terrible. All of her life made sense at that point; the humans’ hatred of her. Other mutants’ distrust. She didn’t belong and she never would belong because she was never _meant_ to.

“This keeps getting better. No offense, but if I meet some stranger in a portal, they’re getting punched. Didn’t you ever get sick? Or bullied? Where was your father then?”

Her misery quickly turning to anger, Clarice thought about all the times kids pulled her hair, threw things at her. The times her foster father beat her. Nobody had come to save her or protect her. 

“Trapped. Traveling for him is the same as for humans; he cannot leave.”

Trapped, like Alison probably was. She tried to ignore the possibility of having a family on the other side and focused on Alison’s disappearance. The whole thing was like some hellish puzzle that twisted and collapsed in on itself.

“I can’t just pass out while making a portal, though. If I lose concentration, the portal closes, and anything in it gets split in half. You don’t get hurt because you _are_ the portal, but me...I can’t half-ass it. I can’t make an incomplete portal. Even when I was first learning, I couldn’t do that.”

“What happens if you do not close your portals?”

“I don’t know. I can’t usually hold them open for that long.”

“How many can you open at a time?”

“A few. Why?”

Kurt’s tail twitched idly behind him, reminding her of a cat ready to pounce. 

“I have an idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Very slow updates. Like, weeks to months.


End file.
